My mother in law hates DMB

[steffie224]

She's announced today that she will no longer babysit for us if it involves us seeing DMB in any way. (She babysits all the time for everything...never been a problem before)

I swear, that's the entire story. Damon & I like DMB, so she hates them and will not support us being fans.


Let the family drama begin!

I'm trying to think of a few good ways to get back at her. Any ideas?

[Koreelove]

Start lying to her

[boarder]

I'm trying to think of a few good ways to get back at her. Any ideas?

Yes. Don't try and get back at her. It will only make the situation worse. Or just take the entire fam to the DMB shows!

[steffie224]

I think I'm gonna tell her she can't see our daughter if she's going to wear the color pink. Not that pink has done anything to me, I just don't like it.

[steffie224]

Start lying to her

:thumbsup

[littleyogini]

give her dmb paraphernalia as gifts for all occasions...shirts, cds, hats, can we make granny undies with boyds face on the ass?:think

[dsm02c]

I like Treys idea.

[davehead34]

I'd find another babysitter. I wouldn't run the risk of lying to my mother-in-law. It wouldn't be worth the headache if she found out. There are plenty of 17 year old high school chicks with nothing better to do than babysit anyways.

[OlivePoet]

I think I'm gonna tell her she can't see our daughter if she's going to wear the color pink. Not that pink has done anything to me, I just don't like it.

You've always seemed to like my pink. What changed?

[OlivePoet]

I'd find another babysitter. I wouldn't run the risk of lying to my mother-in-law. It wouldn't be worth the headache if she found out. There are plenty of 17 year old high school chicks with nothing better to do than babysit anyways.

I would never even consider letting a stranger babysit my (future) children.

[davehead34]

I would never even consider letting a stranger babysit my (future) children.

:thumbsup Agreed. I wouldn't go door to door to find a willing volunteer, but would have no problem leaving my future kid(s) with a responsible teenager that I knew well.

[Koreelove]

:thumbsup Agreed. I wouldn't go door to door to find a willing volunteer, but would have no problem leaving my future kid(s) with a responsible teenager that I knew well.

I made a living babysitting for 10 years. I wouldn't have been able to travel all summer the way I did without babysitting jobs. :thumbsup

[steffie224]

My mother in law is a manipulative, guilt laying, negative catholic woman. She lies constantly to get what will serve her best interests, and works a guilt trip on every occasion.

I have no problem lying to her about where we are going so she will babysit.

And we have plenty of family members who will babysit also. Whenever she says that she won't babysit I find another family member...and then MIRACULOUSLY her plans change and she can babysit. She gets jealous that I went to someone else.

And we do have a few girls that we know very well (friends with the parents) who have come over to babysit if we are going out to dinner or something. One girl I use as a nanny sometimes...she goes with me to the mall & stuff so I can get things done, and not have to leave them alone.

I can't believe I am venting my personal life here. I swore I'd never do that. But I've had enough I guess. This immaturity coming from my mother in law has been going on for 6 years. :sob

[StinkyPinky]

If you were off doing other things would she have a problem?

Sounds like she has issues.

[Bartender]

That's crazy. I'm surprised that she told you that. Sounds like something is bothering her.

[Koreelove]

That's crazy. I'm surprised that she told you that. Sounds like something is bothering her.

Sometimes people don't understand that people in life have passion. Steff and Damon obviously are into something and they spend alot of time/money invested into something that mom-in-law does not understand. Therefore, in her twisted frame of mind, her way of getting in the way of something she does not agree with and/or understand, she threatens not to watch Annalese. What she doesn't realize is that people are going to do what they want regardless of what others think and say. All mom-in-law is doing is causing un necessay drama. All is totally avoidable if she took 5 minutes to understand that Damon and Steff have passion for something.

[dsm02c]

I would sit down and talk to her about it and find out why she hates DMB? Is it because you introduced it into the relationship and she is frustrated by this or some stupid control issue thing?

[Johnny K.]

How is Damon so normal and opposite?

[Bartender]

Sometimes people don't understand that people in life have passion. Steff and Damon obviously are into something and they spend alot of time/money invested into something that mom-in-law does not understand. Therefore, in her twisted frame of mind, her way of getting in the way of something she does not agree with and/or understand, she threatens not to watch Annalese. What she doesn't realize is that people are going to do what they want regardless of what others think and say. All mom-in-law is doing is causing un necessay drama. All is totally avoidable if she took 5 minutes to understand that Damon and Steff have passion for something.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Aw, who the hell am I fooling, I could never be that eloquent with words. Hey, I used the word eloquent in a sentence! Cool!

[steffie224]

Sometimes people don't understand that people in life have passion. Steff and Damon obviously are into something and they spend alot of time/money invested into something that mom-in-law does not understand. Therefore, in her twisted frame of mind, her way of getting in the way of something she does not agree with and/or understand, she threatens not to watch Annalese. What she doesn't realize is that people are going to do what they want regardless of what others think and say. All mom-in-law is doing is causing un necessay drama. All is totally avoidable if she took 5 minutes to understand that Damon and Steff have passion for something.Thank you.:thumbsup Damon and I are wondering why she is glad we aren't into drugs, theft, and a life of being swingers. If we were doing those things, THEN maybe I could understand her distaste.


If you were off doing other things would she have a problem?

Sounds like she has issues.They have issues with almost everything we do. We vowed a long time ago to stop telling them things we do. I mean, every penny we spend..on whatever (new windows, a car, a new TV, vacations, clothes, etc) she and my father in law have to judge us on it. All negativity. And yes, she has issues period.


I would sit down and talk to her about it and find out why she hates DMB? Is it because you introduced it into the relationship and she is frustrated by this or some stupid control issue thing?I think I am going to do that. Again. :glare


How is Damon so normal and opposite?:lol He gets judgemental like that sometimes about things other people do, and I have to remind him that he is being like his parents. He is always eagerly trying to break the cycle of negativity in his family.


Before the Gorge last year she & I got in a huge fight about DMB. She refused to watch Annalese so we could go, and then got upset at me, telling me that I was putting Dave Matthews before my family. oh lord, I fucking went OFF on her :bitch

Damon's a cool cat when it comes to all this. If I'm clearly upset about something he will call her to give her the what-for, and if I end up giving her the what-for he supports me on it.

I'm so sick of her BS right now.

[steffie224]

And Allen, you are always eloquent :)

:clickiingonspellcheck

[steffie224]

Sadly, I can't remember a time when they told us "Hey, we're proud of you guys"

I am an AT HOME MOM. What more could you ask for for your grandchild??? If I want to go to a fucking DMB show with my husband who likes them as much as I do, then what the FUCK should it matter to YOU????

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!
:cry

[Bartender]

And Allen, you are always eloquent :)

:clickiingonspellcheck

:lmao

[Bartender]

Sadly, I can't remember a time when they told us "Hey, we're proud of you guys"

I am an AT HOME MOM. What more could you ask for for your grandchild??? If I want to go to a fucking DMB show with my husband who likes them as much as I do, then what the FUCK should it matter to YOU????

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!
:cry

I really feel for you Steff. My exes parents were totally cool. We never had a bit of problem with them.

[Koreelove]

Sadly, I can't remember a time when they told us "Hey, we're proud of you guys"

I am an AT HOME MOM. What more could you ask for for your grandchild??? If I want to go to a fucking DMB show with my husband who likes them as much as I do, then what the FUCK should it matter to YOU????

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!
:cry

did mom-in-law have the same opportunities when she was raising Damon?

Maybe she jealous of the life you guys have created for yourselves.

[StinkyPinky]

did mom-in-law have the same opportunities when she was rainsing Damon?

Maybe she jealous of the life you guys have created for yourselves.This totally crossed my mind.

[steffie224]

Jealousy is clearly an issue. They can't be happy for anyone else.

OK, I know I am bitching, but I DO love my inlaws, the DO have a lot of great qualities, and they are excellent grandparents. They did a great job giving Damon everything he could ever ask for...and a great education so that he is now able to provide very well for his family.

I think it's just that I am always looking at the bright side of everything, and I love to see people I care about being happy.

I think it just gets to me sometimes when people you are close to are always trying to bring you down & place negativity on your life. The DMB thing is just the 6 month "thing" that has blown me up. (yes, something like this happens about every 6 months with her & me)

[StinkyPinky]

Steph...not to hijack.........but when is the 'gathering' at your house in March?

[steffie224]

I've tried to talk to her about it before. Many, many times.

The conversation will ultimately end up with her crying and laying the Catholic guilt trip "I'm JUST trying to heeeeelp yoooouuu! :cry"

Then Damon's dad will get involved and say "You guys really fucked this up! :mad"

[steffie224]

March 17th!!! :sadie


ooooh man! I should start a thread!

[Koreelove]

I've tried to talk to her about it before. Many, many times.

The conversation will ultimately end up with her crying and laying the Catholic guilt trip "I'm JUST trying to heeeeelp yoooouuu! :cry"

Then Damon's dad will get involved and say "You guys really fucked this up! :mad"

tell her as nice as you can, that if she wants to help, mind her own business :thumbsup

[StinkyPinky]

I've tried to talk to her about it before. Many, many times.

The conversation will ultimately end up with her crying and laying the Catholic guilt trip "I'm JUST trying to heeeeelp yoooouuu! :cry"

Then Damon's dad will get involved and say "You guys really fucked this up! :mad":lol


Thats fucked up...............but funny in a way.
Ah....In-laws.......I think they get jealous because you are Damon's family now, and they cant tell him what to do.
He has a life of his own, and they have lost 'control' of there 'little boy'.

[steffie224]

tell her as nice as you can, that if she wants to help, mind her own business :thumbsup

:lol

you rock

[StinkyPinky]

March 17th!!! :sadie


ooooh man! I should start a thread!
:whew

I wasnt sure, and Joey's birthday is March 14th. I didnt wanna miss it.

[steffie224]

:lol


Thats fucked up...............but funny in a way.

:lol You just made me laugh about it

[Johnny K.]

Steffie-

:hug

:sticksoutheadtoberubbed
:sticksoutotherhead

:hug

[steffie224]

Steffie-

:hug

:sticksoutheadtoberubbed
:sticksoutotherhead

:hug
:ladywood

[dsm02c]

What is the show of such controversy?

[MAM2STEPN]

I think you should stop asking her to babysit for a while and see if she comes around on her own. I don't mean you should withhold taking your daughter to visit with her.


How is your mom? Tell her I truly enjoyed talking to her.:)

[Beefsteak]

I went to a DMB concert with my father-in-law at Nissan Pavillion. :hudak He rocks.

[GSUdawg521]

When my brother and his wife leave town for the weekend, they can just put out a little extra food, the cat knows how to limit himself.

With the dogs, my parents take them to a kennel to board them for the weekend.

I don't know if any of these options would work for you.

[melissann]

what has damon said about all of this? did he talk to her at all?

[Koreelove]

With the dogs, my parents take them to a kennel to board them for the weekend.

I don't know if any of these options would work for you.

yeah Steff, just take Annalese to the kennel. It should be all good :thumbsup

[GSUdawg521]

yeah Steff, just take Annalese to the kennel. It should be all good :thumbsup

The first option is a little more cost-effective. Just as long as she has some control when it comes to eating. And make sure to put fresh litter in the box.

[Hudak-Budak]

I introduced my grandma to them, and she loved it. She was ecstatic when I made her a mix of the band.

[Hudak-Budak]

When my brother and his wife leave town for the weekend, they can just put out a little extra food, the cat knows how to limit himself.

With the dogs, my parents take them to a kennel to board them for the weekend.

I don't know if any of these options would work for you.

:lmao :lmao

[steffie224]

I think you should stop asking her to babysit for a while and see if she comes around on her own. I don't mean you should withhold taking your daughter to visit with her.


How is your mom? Tell her I truly enjoyed talking to her.:)I actually think this is going to be our only option. Talking to her about my concerns will be like talking to a deaf person. I know this from experience.

And my mom is doing great :) I'll tell her you say hello!

[steffie224]

I went to a DMB concert with my father-in-law at Nissan Pavillion. :hudak He rocks.

:jealous

See, my parents are awesome and support all of our decisions, giving us constant praise. Damon's parents are just negative people, unfortunately.

[littleyogini]

:jealous

See, my parents are awesome and support all of our decisions, giving us constant praise. Damon's parents are just negative people, unfortunately.


the most difficult people i have ever dealt with are the inlaws...after 12 years of trying different angles, etc i have come to the conclusion that not everyone is going to get along. sorry about your monster inlaw

[bela1345]

:lol


Thats fucked up...............but funny in a way.
Ah....In-laws.......I think they get jealous because you are Damon's family now, and they cant tell him what to do.
He has a life of his own, and they have lost 'control' of there 'little boy'.

Is your mother-in-law named Judi?? If not, it should be, because she is my mother in law's twin.
And what Stinky said, is what I tell Jeremiah about his mom all the time :shrug

She says "Do ya'll have another "groupie" thing this weekend to blow some money on"? :lamo

She truly irritates the shit out of me with it. And my parents are like yours, they think it is great that we do this.

[steffie224]

:stinky

OK- Every year for our christmas card I write a poem. My Christmas cards are well-know in the family...seeing as how my in laws are not-so-creative. (So basically I look like a god)......anyway......I mail out about 100 cards a year. 60% are my Italian in laws.

Here's the poem going out this year: (Shirley is my mother in law's name)



Christmas is here, 2006
We have gotten all that we could wish
Our health, our home, our wonderful friends
The extremely large family, (plenty of babysitters it lends)
All the traveling we've done, Shirley has had to endure
With our passion for music, it's what gives us fuel.
To enjoy what is out there, the cities unseen,
The unbelievable memories...we have lived out our dreams.
There's something we've learned from our year in review
We hope to pass on these two things to you:
1.) Find & do something you love, for life is too short.
2.) Hold close your loved ones, and give them support.


:sadie :sadie :sadie

[StinkyPinky]

:thumbsup


:touche'

[thepostess]

:stinky

OK- Every year for our christmas card I write a poem. My Christmas cards are well-know in the family...seeing as how my in laws are not-so-creative. (So basically I look like a god)......anyway......I mail out about 100 cards a year. 60% are my Italian in laws.

Here's the poem going out this year: (Shirley is my mother in law's name)



Christmas is here, 2006
We have gotten all that we could wish
Our health, our home, our wonderful friends
The extremely large family, (plenty of babysitters it lends)
All the traveling we've done, Shirley has had to endure
With our passion for music, it's what gives us fuel.
To enjoy what is out there, the cities unseen,
The unbelievable memories...we have lived out our dreams.
There's something we've learned from our year in review
We hope to pass on these two things to you:
1.) Find & do something you love, for life is too short.
2.) Hold close your loved ones, and give them support.


:sadie :sadie :sadie:thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

[steffie224]

OK so tonight I learn that the ol' monster in law has declared that she will not babysit for the following things Steffie likes:

1.) DMB
2.) Junior League
3.) Traveling to see my friends

Seriously. She said that. She said I go see my friends too much. Sooooooo...since it means I am happy & having fun, she won't babysit for it.

I've had it.

[Koreelove]

What??? NO Junior League?

Does she realize that your doing the world a favor?

That's it, I hate people.

[steffie224]

OK- the Sat. after Thanksgiving she & I got in a huge fight.

Then she got her friend to email me & MrSteffie telling us we were wrong for being mad at her and we should apologize. wtf? I don't have Jayrod emailing her telling HER she was wrong!

So the other day the in-laws call Mrsteffie. Of course, they know I'm out of town...and won't have to face me. My Mother In Law says she wants to babysit, and MrSteffie says only if she never asks where we're going again. And keeps her damn mouth shut. She says she feels we are wasting money on all this stuff...etc, etc...(I'll have to get the full story when I get home)

So Thurs we have an event to go to and she wants to babysit but I am still weary.

I dunno. At this point I just want her to leave me alone. I am still so mad and hurt. I will get over it, but not right now. I'd prefer to hire a babysitter for a while. Am I wrong?

[k8m24]

I am very glad that MrSteffie is standing by you on this. I don't know what I'd do but she can't have her cake and eat it too.

[steffie224]

thanks kate d. pants. :hug

[melissann]

I am very glad that MrSteffie is standing by you on this. I don't know what I'd do but she can't have her cake and eat it too.
correctomondo!

steffie, i'm sorry you're still dealign with this. i hope she realizes your family is more important than a petty spat and she apologizes. you are big people and you can make your own decisions on how to spend your money. she's lucky to have such great people raising her grandaughter :hug

[steffie224]

thanks snoops :)

[athousandyears]

I'm sorry Steph. :hug It sounds like she has some control issues and in the end, it's not you or Damon that she is hurting, it's your daughter. I, too, am glad that he is standing behind you on this.

[steffie224]

I'm sorry Steph. :hug It sounds like she has some control issues and in the end, it's not you or Damon that she is hurting, it's your daughter. I, too, am glad that he is standing behind you on this.

:hug

[StinkyPinky]

Oh, grow up, Steph.





:lol

[MAM2STEPN]

I think that's wonderful that you have Damon's full support. Stick to your gun's, by doing what makes you happy will make you a better mom!:thumbsup

[dparker47019]

:hug

That is all

[DMB22JEEP]

I'm trying to think of a few good ways to get back at her. Any ideas?

- DMB Tattoos for the whole family!!!
- Start naming your children... Dave, Butch, Boyd ect...
- Get a Winnebago and take the family on the road following DMB (then shell never see the grand kids)
- Have the kids wear only dmb shirts
- Have the kids ask for dmb present for Christmas and their birthdays
- Get the kids Warehouse memberships
- Tell the kids they were conceived at a dmb show in front of your mother in-law
- Get your mother in-law a warehouse gift card for mothers day
- Tell your mother in-law that in order to pay for the European tour you sold the kids on eBay

Have fun

[steffie224]

- DMB Tattoos for the whole family!!!
- Start naming your children... Dave, Butch, Boyd ect...
- Get a Winnebago and take the family on the road following DMB (then shell never see the grand kids)
- Have the kids wear only dmb shirts
- Have the kids ask for dmb present for Christmas and their birthdays
- Get the kids Warehouse memberships
- Tell the kids they were conceived at a dmb show in front of your mother in-law
- Get your mother in-law a warehouse gift card for mothers day
- Tell your mother in-law that in order to pay for the European tour you sold the kids on eBay

Have fun
:lol

I love it.



OK- we had dinner with them the other night, and the intention was to clear the air & explain our DMB habits.

What came out of my father-in-law's mouth amazed me:

"I don't get it. You see them once, why see them over & over. You should be at home watching your daughter."

I was shocked and told him that it hurt. I said "I can't believe you are insinuating that I am a bad mom"

MrSteffie said, "Dad, you play the same Allenmore golf course EVERY SUNDAY"



This family is slowly pushing me away. Their judgmental ways are atrocious. They've done other things lately, but we won't get into that.

[Koreelove]

Geeze...that woman is SUPER jealous of you and the life that you and Mr. Steffie have created.

Sad really.

[Mave Datthews!]

Wow, Steph... that's fucked up. Why do people have to be so close-minded about things? :(

[melissann]

mr. steffie made a REALLY good point. :thumbsup to him

do you have any other babysitters you could use since they are giving you a hard time? i mean it's YOUR lives, they really need to stop telling you what to do. if they aren't giong to cooperate, maybe it's time to start trying other avenues.